Openness and Trust

Prior to an official session, I orient my clients about what is expected. Most therapists do not conduct such communication. Clients instead are put through laborious psychometric testing backed by the assumption that something wrong needs to be found out. As a professional Listener who strives to practice authentically, I find that all of my clients let their guard down after an orientation session. The main message of this session is to let the client know that I am not looking to identify their “problem”. What they are going through is normal in their humanity. When this message is communicated effectively, my clients already feel a sense of openness and trust. This makes it less resistant for them to share their most intimate emotions. It also offers realistic expectations from our association with no anticipation of a magic pill.

Control of Direction

The client is in total control with an authentic listener at the other end. Now is a good time to reiterate over and over how this is central to the listening process. Unlike other practices, the way I execute in a session is to allow the client to direct the time they have with me. This means I do not probe, do not ask questions, do not direct the client to speak about one topic only and do not interrupt what is being said. The only way I would do any of the aforementioned is if I was asked to do so (sometimes this does happen when new clients are adapting to this sense of having control of their time). How is this control therapeutic? It provides raw freedom. And with that comes motivation to make an effort to face their sense of self and take control of it. Once a client feels totally in control, direct each session as they like and talk without the pressure to stay ‘on topic’, it paves the way for clarity.

Hope for Change

With authentic listening, the biggest therapeutic effect is for clients to feel hope all by themselves. Hope for something new, hope for the future, hope for what they are yet to achieve or manifest. At the end of every session, most of my clients naturally guide themselves back to positivity. Nobody wants to end sessions on a sour note. That is how powerful it is for clients to be conscious of time and direct each session. The rate of wanting to change, hope, strive for better is off the charts. When clients believe they have been heard and told that what they are is totally normal and human then they begin to want to do better. They want to change and continue to tell their story out loud, unraveling their progress be it a step or a whole new shift. Clients explore their internal ambivalence and have a high chance of resolving it when a Listener harbors unprecedented hope for their future.

Normalcy

The most cited therapeutic effect expressed by my own clients is simply the experience of normalcy. In other words, there is nothing ‘wrong’ with them. This is ingrained into their minds at the outset. When someone chooses to work with me, I make this crystal clear – what he or she is going through is absolutely normal and part of being human. The fact is that they are not alone in their situation because the world is filled with people who know exactly what they’re feeling. They aren’t the first person going through this and they won’t be the last. They may have come to my listening service on the back of being called ‘abnormal’, ‘different’, ‘pathological’, ‘disturbed’, ‘damaged’ or ‘psychotic’. So the best therapeutic effect has been bringing three important things into awareness – he/she won’t be labeled throughout this process, he/she is unique as a person, and he/she also has a unifying solidarity with people around the world going through similar circumstances. This sense of being normal in their situation is meaningfully therapeutic.

Self-Understanding

Authentic listening allows a client to understand himself or herself at a deeper level. This occurs as a result of vocalizing thoughts out loud, enabling them to speak to themselves as if they’re in front of a mirror. When I create a space for a client to organize his/her thoughts out in the open it usually results in self-acceptance out of their own volition. With greater self-understanding, the therapeutic effect is to make peace and realize the reality of their situation. Even if this realization brings up feelings of sadness or a wish for it to be different, the first step in healing it is to acknowledge its existence. The understanding of oneself has unparalleled therapeutic effects as the choices, options and decisions based on this understanding become permissible and admissible. New meaning and purpose can derive from self-understanding and it is common to witness my clients create new intentions.