Here is how to effectively use the extra space in your mind as you process what someone is saying:

Think Ahead of the Talker

When words are spoken, think about your own conclusions about them. This might sound counterintuitive to what listening is, but when you engage and interact with the words of the speaker in your mind, you are using the extra headspace you have while processing the words coming at you. You are not making final conclusions or premature judgements. All you’re doing is concluding what the speaker is saying for that moment. Don’t be afraid to amend your conclusions the more the speaker talks.

When you practice mindful self-interaction while the speaker talks, you are training your brain to avoid distractions and lengthening your attention span.

Analyze the Evidence

Think about the supporting points your speaker is offering to confirm what they’re saying. If the speaker isn’t offering much evidence for their argument, know in your mind that the argument is incomplete. The key is not to say it out loud until the person is finished making their point and has paused. Practicing the use of logic, analyzing an argument’s premises, and having strong criteria of what makes a point valid will increase your ability to listen effectively. You aren’t just passively hearing what someone is saying. You are summing up their stance within the safety of the extra space in your head.

Listen Between the Lines

When a speaker is talking, look for hidden meanings in between their spoken words. This is not about putting words in their mouth. It’s about paying close attention to nonverbal communication, including body language, facial expressions, gestures, voice pitch and tone. Ninety percent of communication is offered through nonverbal means. As a listener, what people say between the lines through gestures can give you an added advantage to understand a speaker’s motivation and offers you the opportunity to ask whether the speaker is being genuine in their speech or has deeper meanings to offer than what is presented on the surface. Read them like you would a mystery novel.

Synthesize Ideas, Not Facts  

You’ve probably thought that good listening amounts to being able to regurgitate facts provided by a speaker. On the contrary, understanding ideas is what makes a good listener. Facts are laid out only as a support to the bigger idea. The tendency to focus on facts is illustrated in many students who take copious notes during school lectures or employees who are in training sessions. Instead of writing down big ideas that a collection of facts leads to, most write down word for word what a teacher says in the classroom. Most people do not synthesize the information they receive. Paint the bigger picture by listening.

Regulate Emotional Filters 

There is one instance where listening becomes easy and a breeze. It is when the speaker talks about our own views and resonates with what we believe in, and thus we emotionally connect with the speaker. When we hear something that is against our worldview, our brain becomes overstimulated, and we end up tuning out. Either way, our powers of critique are put to rest by the emotions we feel. So, my suggestion is to wait before you make a final evaluation. Exercise patience by withholding judgment if you find yourself reacting emotionally. But here’s the ultimate thing to do – look for evidence that goes against your deeply held views. It will make you objective in your dealings and build empathy for others, despite opposing philosophies.

The next time you are in a seminar, lecture or one-to-one conversation, apply the mental exercises above. Before the communication takes place, prepare yourself to use that extra headspace you know is coming while the speaker talks. Your brain wants not only to help you absorb and retain information. It is egging you on to become a well-rounded person by objectively evaluating the information, the person in front of you and assimilating the big ideas that could change your world.